Yes, you read right. I put a relaxer on the head of my 7 year old girl. She was heading into 2nd grade, and we both were "ready". Just so you know, we spent every Saturday afternoon with a terrible wash day regimen. The regimen was as follows: I would comb, she would cry. It was pretty simple. I did not know what to do with her waist length curly/coily hair! Neither could I find a hairdresser who was willing to work with her natural hair. They kept telling me to relax her hair! That's not the reason I did it. I relaxed her hair for what I thought would be freedom. It was anything but freedom. I will share that experience with you at another time. This article is to make you aware of my TOP 5 MISTAKES WITH MY NATURAL GIRLS HAIR...
1.) Use of Wrong Products in her hair. Harsh Shampoos made specifically for straight hair did not provide the moisture that her naturally coily hair needed. CAUSE: Harsh shampoo on dry, curly hair. EFFECT: Dry, brittle, ashy, breaking, natural hair that will not retain length properly. Will have no sheen/shine, will appear "nappy" as they call it.
2.) Did not know about Deep Conditioning & Moisturizing. OK everybody, this was around 2004!! No, I did not know about deep conditioning and moisturizing. CAUSE: No moisture imparted into dry, coily, shampoo'd hair. EFFECT: Dry, brittle, ashy non-tolerant hair that will break with every comb/brush movement. In turn, will not retain length, and will also thin out.
3.) I did lots of Blow Drying before any style. I blow dried her hair approximately 4 times a month. Every time we washed, then it was blow dried. CAUSE: Already dry, brittle, natural hair forced to withstand the heat of a blow dryer every week. EFFECT: Dry, brittle, ashy hair breaks off at the ends, and the ends are thin, see through. The hair will not only retain length, but will LOSE length.
4.) Use of wrong de-tangling tools/techniques. Using a comb while the hair is soaking wet is not always the best way to manage hair that is already under stress. It is so important to find the best detangling technique for each different condition of hair. CAUSE: Wrong tools/techniques used for detangling EFFECT: Broken/split ends, thinning out hair. Hair becomes weak because it is unhealthy and thin. Shorter length hair with thinning ends.
5.) Viewing her hair as an inconvenience. I saw her hair as "not easy to deal with". Since I saw it that way--then so did she! Also, since I saw it that way--and I could not find hairdressers willing to work with her hair, then I did not care about her hair enough to research the correct way to manage curly, coily hair. CAUSE: Bad view of coily hair EFFECT: No care, Bad Care, Broken, Damaged Coily Hair. (Hey, that rhymes!)
WHAT DID ALL OF THIS ADD UP TO?
BECAUSE OF THESE 5 TOP REASONS THAT I PUT THE RELAXER IN MY 7 YEAR OLD'S HAIR................
I NEVER GOT TO SEE HER TRUE CURL PATTERN
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SHE HAD CURLY HAIR
I THOUGHT HER HAIR WAS BUSHY/FRIZZY
THE HAIR SHE HAS TODAY (AT AGE 14)--I NEVER SAW IT....
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| Natural Hair Girl: KEEP ME COILY |
...I NEVER SAW IT.
I can relate to this. When my daughter was only 4 years old I allowed others to convince me she was "ready" for a texturizer. I didn't have any experience at all with her hair type and in an effort to maintain it I would take her to a hairdresser once a month for a deep conditioning treatment. I love her natural hair. They always told me to "tame that poor girls hair" I had no idea what that meant, but I said OK. I thought it would just make it easier to comb, not remover her curl pattern. Well I cried for days because whenever I tried to get her signature puffs in her hair they would fall flat. I missed her curls. After that I switched hairdressers to one who wears her hair natural and was willing to teach me to care for her natural hair. She is 7 now and all of the damaged hair is gone. I really hope she grows up to embrace her natural hair as much as I have. I am really grateful to all of you who put information on the internet to help people like me who had no clue.
ReplyDeleteYep, you and I have pretty much the same sad story. I don't know why these people have so much to say. I could write a book about the foolishness that was said. Oh well, we've come full circle, and we ended up at the right spot :o) She will love her natural hair b/c that will be what she knows. We really appreciate your message. --tia
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