Bad Things Do Happen at The Hair Salon: The Coily Hair Edition

"So here's my dilemma, do I say anything--or do I let her continue to destroy my hair--and all of the progress that I've made so far? What would you do?"

 Photo Credit: darkskinnedblackbeauty.tumblr.com

If you've ever had to ask yourself that question while at the hair dresser, then this post is for you.

So today is a follow up to yesterday's post where I vent about our salon visit. Yes, the plot thickened, and I can honestly say that I was "ready" for the usual crud that goes on in these salons.

You see, unfortunately, learning about techniques and products that address all of the different types of curly/coily hair is NOT required training for a salon to be able to accept naturally coily haired clients. That being said, much goes on that makes absolutely NO SENSE in the curly world.

I have a friend who washes, conditions, and detangles her hair BEFORE she even steps foot into a salon. That way, all that's left to do is use setting lotion and roller set her hair. This master plan helps her to avoid damage to her ends, avoid lots of pain, and avoid regretful tomorrows. She says they always give her the "stink eye", and some stylists are straight up rude to her for doing this. I don't see why anyone should care, she's still paying good money. If there's any problems with the roller set (such as product build-up, hair not cleansed properly)--they can always let her know that was done by her.

I wish I had done this before I went to this salon. In all actuality, I wish I had never went to this salon. Going to a Dominican Salon in a "country" part of town is most definitely risky business. How much practice they've gotten with caring for coily hair may not be suitable for the best experience. I don't want a stylist "practicing" on me--while acting like they are a "pro".

That's exactly what happened in this instance. 

Not only could this stylist not manage my length, thickness, and tightly coiled hair--she could not detangle it, nor could she lay it down on the roller. By the time she wrapped a big mess of hair around the roller, the section was dry and puffy. You WILL NOT get a proper "set" with dry hair--it has to be soaking wet. So by the time I got from under the hair dryer, my hair was still a bit thick, and ashy--not sleek and bouncy as a wet set is supposed to be.

How Disappointing.

In regards to the improper detangling (using a wide tooth comb, starting from the roots, ripping and pulling), what did I do, you ask?

I asked her if she had a paddle brush. When she showed it to me, I asked her if I could show her an easy way to detangle my extremely curly hair. She was not happy, but I did it in a kind way so as not to "embarrass" her. I was the one being embarrassed by the way she was looking like my hair was breaking off her arms.

I showed her how to wet the hair, start from the ends and slowly work the way up the hair shaft. She seemed to have filed away a new tool for detangling coily hair in her mind--but she definitely wouldn't let me know that I knew better than she did. After all...she's the professional.

Would YOU take the brush away from a "professional" and detangle your hair? Or, would you sit quietly and let the stylist finish detangling (no matter the breakage, pain, and destruction to your hair). 

NOT ANYMORE. I sat by quietly for too long, while letting these professionals damage my hair. Most of the time I had to go home and cry (or be very upset). This applies to relaxer applications, hair trims that turn into haircuts, bad color jobs, and much much more. This is not limited to coily hair types...any woman can experience bad service at a hair salon. 

I just know now that I will keep my eyes open, and respectfully relate my wishes. After all, it's my hair.

 

Until Next Post................................................................................................................Tia

FOUR YEAR POST RELAXER (QUESTIONS ANSWERED): TRANSITIONING HAIR

FOUR YEAR POST RELAXER VIDEO (QUESTIONS ANSWERED)

1. Hi, I am coming to you for MAJOR HELP! I am 16 yrs old and a junior in high school, i got my first perm when I was in the 6th grade. Before i started getting perms my hair was literally 18 inches down my back, When perming came into the picture i was left to take care of my hair on my own.(BAD IDEA) now from all the perming and heat applied to my hair i have dramatically split ends, and my hair is like 3'' in the middle of my head and 8'' to 10'' around, my mom suggested cutting it off! WHAT DO I DO?

ANSWER: You're mom may be right (especially since she can see what's going on LOL). I believe split ends need to go. I think they make the hair shaft weak, and prone to breakage. Your measurements sound like a bob styling of sorts (3'' in the middle, and 8'' on the sides). Maybe it can be trimmed to a bob? Are you planning to relax your hair or grow out your unprocessed hair? No matter what's going on, try to get those ends taken care of and have someone help you with your protein/moisture. Here's a great post on transitioning hair care (moisture tips and avoiding breakage)!

2. What kind of products did you use on your hair during the transition? 
ANSWER: Every head of transitioning hair is different. There will be different needs due to porosity, hair health, and more. The products we used while transitioning can be considered moisture based. From our shampoos used to our stylers, we focused on continuously putting moisture back into our hair. Here's a link to the page where each product that we used (with success) are detailed.

3. What are some good tips to retain length while long term transitioning?

ANSWER: Here's a post that I wrote some months back, but it took me over a year to formulate this healthy hair care for length retention. The post shares "step by step" on how to retain length on fine/thin, delicate hair--but after a close look this hair regimen will work well for long term transitioning hair!

4. Question: how did she prevent breakage? How did she make it curly with the ends still relaxed? I'm also attempting to transition this way. I just don't know what to do besides gelling my hair into a ponytail.

ANSWER: T's natural texture is somewhat wavy (as opposed to my tightly coiled hair), so it wasn't too difficult to match up the relaxed texture with the curly texture once it grew out long. But in the beginning of her transition (around 3-6 months), it was difficult to manage the 2 textures. Here's a link to a comprehensive transitioning guide that may help avoid breakage, tangles,  ensure length retention, and give some direction for creating a texture that can be styled on.

5.  I think it's beautiful, but do you think her curls are looser due to heat styling? I want to know the effect heat will have on my hair..

Yes, she flat ironed (probably too much) during her transition. You can do it, but be safe. I wouldn't recommend the flat iron so much (maybe some roller sets). The thing is, you don't want to alter your curls even before you get to see them in the healthy, plush state. You may end up with limp, dry non-relaxed hair due to heat damage. Here's some info that we received from the National Center for Biotechnology Information in regards to the effects that heat can have on hair.

Whatever you decide, be sure to keep up with weekly deep conditions, trim ends as needed, lay down hairline with satin scarf if you're trying to get that "sleek look" without heat.

6. "Are there any tips to reduce shrinkage my hair shrinks horribly and i just wanna keep my hair looking the actual length then it looking really short" 
Braids and twists are well known to  stretch out coily hair. Bantu Knots (or little buns) also serve as a great stretching tool. Some people use the banding technique, where the hair is stretched into a ponytail (or a few), and scrunchies or hair bands are tied all the way down the length of the hair. These techniques work perfect on both transitioning and all natural hair. The basic idea of stretching is to elongate the coil--so this means that you can get creative with it, and use rollers, satin strips, and many other tools in order to stretch it out. 


 

Keeping the Length: Interview with an Angel

I SEE YOU JESSICA. This Youtube vlogger caught my eye one day. Not only is she Beautiful inside and out, but her hair is Happy. From what I've seen, Jessica has a firm grasp on healthy hair care. Taking the time to get to know what her coily hair responds to, Jessica has created a regimen that is tailor-made for this coily girl's needs. Isn't that what it's all about? I could go on and on about how amazing Jessica is or you could just look at her pictures and read some more....

"NATURAL & LOVING IT"

[AR] How long have you been "Natural"

[Jessica]     I have been natural for two years and I did the big chop in October 2010

[AR] Why did you Stop Relaxing Your Hair?

[Jessica]     I decided to go natural after seeing how beautiful my cousin's hair was, plus I always loved curly hair and wanted the texture I had before I was relaxed. Going natural was another chance for me to live a healthier life. I am big on organic and natural, so having natural hair and watching the ingredients I put in my hair was right on point for me.

[AR]      Tell Us About Your Ringlets: [PRODUCT SELECTION ASSISTANCE]

1. My coils are straw shaped curls mixed with a few other shapes. They are really defined in the bottom half of my hair, the back and the left side in the front.
2.   My hair is medium thickness.
3. My hair hold moisture pretty well and it dries fast to average with no product
4. I have anywhere from 50-75% shrinkage, it depends on how well moisturized it is.   

                   

[AR]  Did you figure out which main ingredients or products your hair likes?

[Jessica]   My hair loves aloe vera juice, my shea butter mixture, flax seed gel mixture, coconut oil and the lighter oils like sweet almond oil.

[AR] What's the story with you and HEAT (flat irons, blow dryer, etc.)?  

[Jessica] During my first year of being natural I did not use a blow dryer or flat iron because I wanted the experience of learning my hair's needs. I rarely straighten my hair, but when I do it is not more than twice a year. I prefer to air dry my hair to protect it from heat damage and to save time on my hair J

[AR] Do you use shampoo? 

[Jessica] I do use shampoo usually every week or every two weeks. When I have mini braids or twists in I will go without washing my hair for four weeks and the same is for when I straighten my hair.

[AR]  What did people say about your transition from relaxed to natural?

[Jessica] I had so many different reactions! Some people were shocked that I chopped all my hair off, some people were not feeling my new look while others loved it. My husband was very supportive through the whole process and even cut the back of my hair for me! He is still extremely supportive and he can probably tell you a thing or two about natural hair lol.

[AR] What are they saying now about your coily hair?

[Jessica] I currently receive a lot of compliments and questions about my hair, so much that I started a blog, Fb page, and YouTube channel to share what I have learned and my journey. I have also began building my own business which will entail Natural hair Consulting to help other ladies take care of their hair as well.

[AR] If you could only choose 3 items to carry with you on a trip (for your hair styling/maintain), what would those 3 products or ingredients be?

[Jessica] Coconut oil, conditioner, my herbal spray that I make....The herbal spray would serve as a source of moisture and other benefits, the coconut oil would penetrate and seal the moisture and my conditioner will cleanse and moisturize so I am good to go!

Having a regime that meets your hair needs is the key to having healthy hair and retaining length. For me I knew that having the right moisture balance is vital to the health and length of my hair. I prefer protective styles to save time and also to keep myself out of my hair, plus most of the time I am so busy and I do not have time to style my hair on a daily basis. Going natural was the best decision for me, I learned to embrace myself even more and I began on a journey of self growth as well.

MESSAGE FROM JESSICA: Stay connected with me on social media....I have several projects coming up dealing with natural hair, skin care, makeup, social events and a website plus I love to meet new people J

Blog: http://reformationofbeauty.tumblr.com/

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/ReformationOfBeauty?feature=mhee

HOW TO CARE FOR COILY HAIR Needs YOU, Angel! Non-Bloggers and Bloggers wanted, please be an Angel with a Story. Send your name, facebook link, and where you are from to amc@untame.tv or Add this Angel as a Facebook Friend. 

Interviewer: Tia

THE COILY HAIRED ANSWER TO LONG LENGTHS

LOVE THE CURLS YOU'RE IN...

 Over the last 3 years, the one thing that is constant, is my love for coils. I love all of the coils that I spot in the streets, at the grocery store, at the mall..I check them all out. 

Because of this love of all things coily, I mostly like to wear my hair in it's natural state....coily. I don't often apply heat. Mostly I air dry. This is healthy. Healthy hair care will pretty much ensure length retention. Coincidentally, healthy hair care starts with..........loving the curls that you're in. 

Loving the curls that you're in means always wanting to wear your curls. At which point, flat ironing becomes just another occasional style option, not a constant texture that needs to be achieved. Loving the curls that you're in will lead to healthy hair, and the length will follow.
 

[Source]

[Source]

 

LOVE THE CURLS YOU'RE IN...

 LOVE THE CURLS YOU'RE IN...

[Source]

Exercise & Fitness With Coily Hair: Tips & Tricks

COILY HAIR AND EXERCISE: WEIGHT MANGEMENT & HAIR

I vaguely recall the issue of relaxed hair and water. It was a big NO NO! Sucked, because I have a pool. I waited until the weekend to swim. I waited until the weekend to sweat. That only gives me 2 days (which narrowed down to 1 day--not even consistently). That doesn't play well on the body. That spells out a sedentary life.

Now I know better. Even if I was relaxed, I would incorporate wash n go's in there somewhere. That would work best if I only tex-laxed (not relaxed bone straight). I would recommend that to everyone considering to relax their hair. 

How this relates to my unprocessed hair is as follows: For my workout schedule (5x week) of intense cardio that brings with it much sweat, the following is noted:

I love to wear two strand twists (big or small). They allow me to wet my hair as needed. I just don't add any shampoo to it. I co-wash as needed. Problem solved. I can stretch my hair in the evening, and wear it down or bunned or whatever in the morning. 

Braids are a Great Long Lasting Texture for Exercise

When I'm not in 2 strand twists, I can wear my hair loose, and not be afraid to wet it. EVER. Keeping my hair well conditioned allows me the freedom to wet my hair as I please, and not be concerned about dry/tangled/ashy looking hair. Quick textures for loose hair that has been sweat up:

• Braidout
• Twistout
• Bunned up
• Plus More to be discovered!

If you're wearing a wash n go, just pin up your hair (LOOSELY) with a big scrunchy, so as not to disturb (stretch) the coil pattern. Wear a headband to catch the sweat. If you don't plan to rinse the hair, this style can be preserved. 

Moisturized  Braidout Resilience after a WORKOUT


Whatever your hair styling choice, do know that the health and strength of your body trumps all of the hairstyles in the world. I have deemed two strand twists to be my official workout hair texture. It's easily co-washed or rinsed, and then styled. Braids are great too! A quick on-the-go styling is what is needed for freedom to get healthy.

Shorter length hair may pose some creativity. Most importantly, again, well conditioned hair can overcome most styling woe's due to it's elasticity, shine, curl definition, style compliance, and I can go on. Moisture, moisture, moisture. I'm not speaking of leave-in's per se. Proper, effective deep conditioning is a "must". I deep condition weekly for all week effective styling assistance.

Just a quick rave about a topic well deserved.


As Aways,


Stay Beautiful Dahlin'                      ------------tia

Saturday Coily Hair Quick Cleanse & Condition Routine

SATURDAY WASH DAY WITH EASE

Air Drying in Four Plaits

After about 2 weeks of not detangling Dimple's hair, this Saturday became her temporary hair day (it's usually Sunday evening). She couldn't go to church in the morning with this dry, brittle, tangled, uncooperative hair. I mean, she could, but we both wouldn't be too happy about it. As I type this, I've already pre-poo'd her hair with a diluted Conditioner (Trader Joe's Nourish Spa). I love that conditioner for it's detangling/slip properties--and the ingredients are the best! Unfortunately, there's not a Trader Joe's store by me--so I have to order it online. After I detangle each section, I'm twisting up her hair (usually ends up being about 10 two strand twists) so that it won't tangle back up.

From Four Plaits to Approx. 12 Smaller Plaits

After I detangle her hair during the pre-poo with diluted conditioner, I put her in the shower and shampoo (if needed). Since it's been around 2 weeks since I last did anything sensible to her hair, I decided to shampoo this time around. I may only rinse off a little of the pre-poo before I apply the dime sized shampoo to each section. I will usually take down each section in order to shampoo it. I just don't feel like I can "get up in there" when her hair is still in twists. Plus, it's really not that much more work for me.

Easy Stretch on Wash Day

After the shampoo, if her hair feels dry, then I will use a deep conditioning product, then place each section into a bantu knot. I will put on a shower cap, and let her finish up her shower. Once she's done showering, I  rinse out the deep conditioner and make 4 plaits from the loosened two strand twists. While she's getting dressed, her hair is air drying in the two strand twists. To help it along, I will use a microfiber towel and blot off the extra water.

I can leave her hair like this until tomorrow morning for a braidout with a LITTLE stretch--or I can make her air dried 4 plaits into about 16-20 plaits for some LONG stretch action (that's what I ended up doing).

This is a pretty simple regimen/routine that eliminates lengthy hair wash days and gets rid of lots of tears from detangling. You can't go wrong with that. As I sit here typing this, I can't help but to compare how much easier Dimple's hair is to about 10 years ago with T's hair drama. The only difference here is that I'm now educated about how to care for coily hair. That makes all the difference in the world.

Just a quick post to share from start to finish our 2 hour Saturday hair day (from pre-poo/detangle, includes shower, and ends with detangling and styling).

PICTURES OF HER FINAL STYLING

 

To view a Step By Step of this Style

Two Strand Twists: Healthy Hair Care Habits for Length Retention

It's hard to believe, but we are approaching 2013. I can say that this year was used wisely in regards to goals and being focused. There's still some time left to end the year with that powerfully accomplished feeling! As this post relates to hair, I'm going to just dive right in without further ado.

Three years into my natural hair journey, I know that my hair is retaining length. At between 15'' and 17'' length measured throughout the head, I've retained about 5.5'' (average) each of the three years. This includes trims and scissor happy hair dressers in the first 2 years that I was silly enough to risk allowing to touch my hair.

My recent stint with 2 strand twists were glorious to say the least. I am in love with two strand twists for length retention (and they are just plain cute and easy once installed). I kept them in for 3 weeks, and wore a twist out for about 3 days. Usually I would wear the twistout for about a week, but due to the fact that I work out about 5 days a week, I sweat too much not to have to wash it. SIDE NOTE: Two strand twists are now my official coily girl hair texture for a heavy work-out session. They are easily cared for (can dunk them under the water any time), they are easily styled (for both professional and casual wear).

Easy Styling Coily Hair in Two Strand Twists

Freshly Co-Washed 2 Strand Twists on Coily Hair

Heatless Waves on Two Strand Twists

Twistout After 3 Weeks of Wearing Two Strand Twists

Now to the "meat" of this post! 

Healthy Hair Care Habits for Length Retention:

I chose two strand twists with which to enjoy retaining some length while my hair remained un-manipulated. No combing, brushing, shampooing,  ripping through or any of those end splitting endeavors for a full 3 weeks. But what happens when I go to take down the twists? Most people experience knots, matting, dreads, and worse after enjoying their two strand twists. I've come up with a list of things that help me to avoid all of the above, and I'll share my list with you. If you have anything that helps you that we can add to the list, please share!

1. Twist on hair that is well conditioned. I like to do my twists after I've done my homemade mayo/honey/olive oil/avocado deep conditioning treatment.
2. Moisturizing properly before twisting is important. I find that since my deep conditioner is so heavy, I may not need to add additional moisturizer on the day that I twist. But definitely I assess the hair to ensure that it's  moisturized properly before doing my twists. This sets the stage for well moisturized twists that will not suffer damage from dryness. Also allows me to simply spritz water in the next few days (to reactivate the products that are on the strands).
3. Do twists on hair that is properly separated at the roots. If the roots start out with hair that is tangled, they will continue to tangle during the long wear stretch-and then they will matte or dread. How quickly this will happen depends on the hair's texture. Tighter coiled hair will probably dread or matte quicker.
4. Twist all the way down to the ends without "borrowing" hair from one of the 2 sections. If you do have to "borrow" hair, make sure that you remember that you did this on take-down. Those are the twists that you're going to have to "baby" when you take down--and find exactly where the hair is shared and un-twist it carefully. This will help avoid damage to the ends.
5. Maintain the proper moisture level while wearing the twists. Deep condition as usual. Don't let the hair dry up. I also avoid shampoo, as this tends to tangle my hair and knot it up. This was learned after much trial and error. Co-washing is good. I use the As I Am Coconut Cowash Cleansing Conditioner, 16 Ounce  when I have my hair in two strand twists. It's perfect for cleansing without shampoo.
6. Trim as needed. While the twists are in, this is the easiest time for me to identify ends that are ragged. NOTE: This may not be a good idea for hair that is easily unravels. Blunt ends will encourage unraveling. 

This is scheduled to be a 2 part post, because the take down of two strand twists is extremely important to length retention. Twists could be kept in safely for weeks, and all of the progress made could be destroyed on the take-down. In the upcoming post, I will share exactly what steps I take to un-ravel and safely detangle my hair after wearing two strand twists on a long term basis.

Enjoying two strand twists without the take-down drama of tangles will ensure length retention. I like to do 2 sets of two strand twists within a 3 month period (taking a break on the 2nd month, then doing a new set of twists on the 3rd month. I usually see about 2'' length from this practice. For sure, it requires patience to do the twists (mines take me about 8 hours within a 2 day period--or just 1 long Saturday of movies and HOME BOUND). Also, patience is required on the take down, which will be discussed on the next post.

Until Then, Stay BEAUTIFUL :o)                                                               ---------tia

The Lazy Way Box Braids: Official Coily Girl Demo

 Start with cleansed, conditioned, stretched hair. This hair was stretched and air-dried first by using 4 plaits. I let them air dry for about 1 hour while I folded some laundry.

Next, each of the 4 plaits were undone and then made into about 4 plaits, totaling approximately 12 to 15 total stretched out plaits. Doing this on air dried hair elongated the coils--resulting in more length to start her box braids with.


While plaiting smaller to stretch, I lightly moisturized her hair with the Eden Body Works Hair Milk. It's a great, creamy leave in product with lots of oils. Taking one of the 15 plaits, I made even smaller box braids, which stretched the hair out even longer. These are the box braids that she will wear this week. I can guess that 

I did approximately 60 box braids throughout the entire head. 


  Why I call this a lazy way box braids is simply because I stop halfway down the hair shaft. Her hair measures over 19'' in length. Doing her box braids as small and as many as I planned to, would take longer than the 1.5 hours that this took. Probably just double the time. I think this process saved me about 1 hour.





After doing a section with 1/2 of the hair shaft left loose, I gathered it into a section and dampened it with water before braiding the whole loose section into 1 plait. I continued his process until I had about 5 or 6 sections with the loose ends placed into a big plait (as shown above).

RESULTS:

Water Only Provides Extreme Definition on Coily Hair

Some things to note about this process:

•  Keep the loose hair moisturized. It is important that the hair from root to ends stay moisturized, but it is especially important to keep the ends moisturized, since they are left loose. Loose hair tends to get dry quicker. I USE WATER TO RE-MOISTURIZE (EVERY NIGHT). The water re-activates the leave in that I used on wash day. The leave in that was used is full of oils (allowing me to skip the sealing with oil step).
• Nightly, moisturize and re-plait the loose ends. It takes me about 10 minutes or less to re-plait her loose hair into about 6 plaits. Satin Scarf or Pillowcase will help keep the frizzies away.
• This style lasts longer than your average braid out. Her hair gets frizzy quickly because it is fine hair. We plan to re-braid the hairline only after co-washing her hair this weekend. We're going to use this styling for another week.

Braidout and Box Braids: Coily Hair

COILY HAIR DON'T CARE: A Curly Girl's Love Affair

Wear Your Coils: We Love You Coily Girl!

Lovin Her Coils: Baby Bear

I saw 3 curly girls yesterday. These 3 beauties consisted of mother and 2 daughters. I could tell they had mastered their curls, and didn't have the interruption of chemical procedures at all. During that time, they got a jump on me in their curly education. CURLY EDUCATION? What the WHAT???

While I was learning how to break off my relaxed/chemically processed hair, they were learning how to love their curls. Over the last 2 years, I have been learning how to love my curls. 

• You can not treat curls the same way you treat relaxed hair. 
• Look at curls as THE PREMIER "day to day" texture. Heated styles: OCCASIONAL
• Wear your coils with pride--be comfortable with them.
• Learn what your curls love; they will love you back.
• Accepting that most of us have different coil types/patterns--love what you've got.
• Learn how to style your coils. Coils are a texture, styling is an additional effort.

Most of us are in the same boat. We are learning something totally foreign to us: How to Care for Coily Hair. Most curly girls from other cultures have learned from tender toddler ages how to treat their hair. Some of us are just learning how to care for our hair in our 20's, 30's, 40's, and on up. That's okay. The psychology behind the need to learn about your coils, is to first accept. Not accept in the way of "this is what I have, so I'm going to deal with it". No. ACCEPT in the way of: "I love what my hair does when I do this to it". Just have a love affair with your hair. The knowledge that it's YOURS, and it's just as beautiful as you are (inside and out).

When you've done this, you will radiate true and real beauty. Your self confidence will trump any hairstyle you could ever dream of. 

With this post, I leave you with a thought: Are you ready to be untamed? Are you ready to wear your coils with confidence. From the Desk of How to Care for Coily Hair: September is "Free Spirit" Month.

Show us your "Free Spirit". 

Relaxers and Pre Pubescent Children: Should I Wait?

It's that time AGAIN.......... Back To School!

Back to School and Coily Girl Hair Styling

With my daughters, their back to school hair styling is pretty important. Especially since they wear uniforms. Hair and shoes are a few of the ways that they have to express their sense of style. About 8 years ago, when my older daughter was 7, she and I felt like her natural hair was a problem. So we put a relaxer. 

Looking back, that was way too young for her to get a relaxer. I heard somewhere that it's recommended to wait until the child reaches puberty. Quick check on some of the big name brand relaxer ingredients, and some of them contain ingredients that are well known endocrine disruptors. 

Anywhoo, before the relaxer, we used to spend our Saturdays crying (her) and saying sorry (me). That was before I knew how to care for her waist length coily hair. Not only was her hair coily, but it was extremely long and thick.

Well, the relaxer took care of that problem in more ways than one (unfortunately). I relaxed her hair for the first time when she was going into 1st grade. Yup, I took all of that beautiful, virgin hair to the hairdresser, who relaxed it without clarifying it. There was loads of chlorine on her hair strands from the Summer long pool days at camp and home. I didn't know any better, but I think HE should have. Long story short, waist length hair had to be cut about 4 inches to her lower back. Even after that, her ends would constantly be a source of extreme breakage.

I've got a few posts about the relaxer in regards to ways to avoid damage, but I will share with you the insane story of what caused me to put a relaxer on my 7 year old's hair. http://angelsringlets.blogspot.com/2011/09/top-5-mistakes-i-made-that-caused-me-to.html 

Hopefully we can share experiences and this can help others to avoid making the same mistakes that I made.

Under 12 Years Old? Chemicals May Not Be the Answer to Hair  Care Problems

Finally, I just want to say that WE don't see our coily hair as a problem anymore. Wow, with age comes wisdom! My views effect my little ones to some extent. So as we start our 1st grade year with coily hair, we invite you to our world of daily styling (styles will be updated weekly), and we hope you share your hair styling for the little ones with US! We will be playing with lots of texture, accessories, and all the while keeping a healthy hair regimen to grow long and strong.